As young women trying to work out how we’re going to ‘have it all’ but not really wanting to admit that we ‘want it all’ we can place a lot of pressure on our own shoulders. Sometimes, we just need to kick back and let life run it’s course. There are some things that you should just accept and not feel bad about – let it go and stop worrying. You’re doing just fine!
I’ve compiled a list of the 30 things that we should stop giving a shit about – there you go I said it, you have permission not to give a shit about any of these especially when you’re working hard to reach your goals.
So, it’s OK to…
1. Be living back with your parents and making the most of the low rent/rent free agreement to enable you to save – When you are paying out half your wage to someone you don’t know and doing a stranger’s washing up you’ll miss your box room!
2. To not say yes to every invite but still have a little dose of FOMO – If you’re trying to save for something important then you’ll need to make some sacrifices but it’s normal to feel shit when you see your friends having the best night ever the morning after on Instagram. Stay committed!
3. Say that you’re feeling undervalued at work and ask for a pay rise – You’re in control of your earning power, if you don’t ask you won’t get so get yourself a book on negotiation (or r and own that pay rise!
4. It’s also okay to want more and pluck up the courage to leave – If your job is getting you down more than it’s bringing it you up then start looking for a new one, you don’t owe anyone anything by staying around. Do what is right for you or you’ll live to regret the time you wasted!
5. To say you already have plans every once in a while to get you out of plans that you don’t want – you can’t do it all, prioritise the plans that you really want and you’ll enjoy them more rather than feel guilty for the money/rest you could have saved yourself.
6. To treat yourself to something indulgent sometimes and not feel guilty about it one bit – if you’re eating well and exercising then bloody hell just eat the fudge cake, smear it all over yourself if you have to but just don’t feel bad about it.
7. Be yourself, not everyone will like you that’s just life – don’t spend your life trying to please everyone, you’ll be exhausted. Take people as they come, there’s always someone who won’t like you – oh well! They’re probably not worth your mind worrying about anyway.
8. Show ambition, even when others make you feel bad about wanting to achieve more from your life – don’t let anyone make you feel less powerful or less capable. Do you, don’t worry about their self-esteem issues.
9. Say no to additional work assignments if you are already doing more than expected and working too many hours – you earn more respect when you manage your time well and have the balls to say to say you can’t take on any more work as it’ll compromise the quality of your existing work. Work hard, but don’t break your back for it. They’ll think twice next time they try to overload you.
10. To secretly want to jack your job in to travel the world and be a free spirit – erm most days right? You can of course do this you know, it’s not a pipe dream. Save up, pluck up courage, leave. Enjoy!
11. To wonder how your colleague has the time to apply full Kim K make up every morning before work – it’s not for everyone.
12. To take a nap every now and again and recharge your batteries – when your brain is in overdrive, you work bloody hard and you’re being a social butterfly the best thing you can give yourself is some rest god dammit!
13. Ask for a tea, because not everyone wants to go for a ‘coffee’ – you like tea, you don’t like coffee. They’ll get over it.
14. To not know as much as others, we’re all learning – don’t allow yourself to ever feel ‘not good enough’ in the presence of others. There are things you’ll know that they don’t. Do some research if it’s something you really want more information on and you’ll impress the next person you speak to.
15. To not want the same things as our friends, not all of us want children or other conventional stages of ‘growing up’ – things in your life will happen at the right time for you but if there’s things you just know you don’t want but society says you should, rebel. Be you, everyone else is taken.
16. To earn significantly more money than your other half, or significantly less on that note but stay humble – money comes and money goes. Know that your current situation might not always be your current situation. Make the most of it, help others, support your partner either way. Money doesn’t define who you are.
17. To speak your mind and raise a few eyebrows if it’s something you really believe in even if it loses you a few acquaintances – be the one that says something different, break the mould a bit, you’re only young once.
18. To find some people really irritating and accept that they’re not your cup of tea (or coffee) – it’s quite normal, especially around the time of the month. You’re not a horrible person, promise.
19. To wonder strange things and do a bit of daydreaming every now and again because reality isn’t all that fun – daydreamers are creative, visionaries, ambitious, so keep daydreaming because you’re right we all need a little escape sometimes.
20. To not feel good enough, for about 5 minutes as long as you pick yourself back up and tell yourself you’re doing the very best you can – you made a mistake, learn from it and move on. If you’re not making mistakes, you’re simply not trying hard enough.
21. To say yes to something and then work it out later, besides that’s what most successful people do – if you know you can deliver on it, sign up, work it out, smash it. Don’t hesitate to put your name forward because you don’t have every single thing they’re asking for, you’ll find the missing part.
22. To ask for a soft drink on a night out and not feel ashamed because you’re not doing shots, glasses of wine, doubles and beers, you’re a grown woman you make your own choices – usually it’s the people that give you stick for not drinking alcohol that need the alcohol to gain a personality. I’m sure you have a good reason not to drink otherwise, you’d have a drink.
23. Not get that promotion you were going for, these things happen and usually for good reasons – dust yourself down, learn from it and move on to better things. Sometimes its because another door is opening for you elsewhere.
24. To not go on a second date because he lacks that ‘get up and go’ that you’re looking for – don’t waste time dating people that you know aren’t right for you, just be honest.
25. To be secretly envious of people that eat what they want and stay thin whilst your slowly realising your hips are the child bearing hips your mother once warned you about – ah you win some you lose some right?
26. To miss people that aren’t in your life anymore and think about them every now and again – sometimes you have to be grateful that you have good memories to keep rather than none at all.
27. To take a day off if you feel sick, nothing is more important than your health start realising that – rest is best darling. Oh, there’s mum being right… again.
28. Start realising that most things your mother told you when growing up is actually coming true – follow the wise advice and but don’t be afraid to make your own.
29. Not actually know what you’re doing each day or wonder how you got into the career you’re in – nobody ever said you’d have it all worked out, in fact most people never do. Just enjoy the journey.
30. To be stuck constantly between wanting to cling on to your youth and wanting to be a high achiever – we’re all in the same carriage, doll.
We need to stop feeling as guilty for the decisions we make and enjoy each day a little bit more.